Well... It is officially official. I am going to graduate. I passed my thesis defense, I turned in a final copy of my thesis (all 148 pages of it!!!), and I got all of the necessary signatures and stamps. That feels pretty freaking awesome, I must say.
Last night, before the start of a totally killer yoga class, Thomas (the instructor) talked about embracing our own awesomeness and accepting the fact that we are all great at something. Then, throughout the class, he asked us what we would look like or feel like if, in that moment, we believed we were truly awesome. Immediately, I started to think about what I would look like if I were my most awesome self... fitter, more fashionable, better hair, 10 pounds lighter, etc., etc. Then I stopped. And I realized that the only way to really accept my own awesomeness was to think of myself as awesome in that very moment - with the clothes I had on, with my hair a mess, and with my body exactly as it was and is. Instead, I thought about how I would feel on the inside if I believed in my own awesomeness and how that would radiate on the outside. I focused on the way I would behave and how I would approach each moment and each new challenge. Because real awesomeness, the kind of awesomeness that I can fully embrace, shouldn't have anything to do with what I want to change about myself or what I want to do, look like, be in the future, but should be about the awesome person that I am NOW. I should look in the mirror every morning and think about how the awesome Katie looking back at me is going to choose to feel, to behave, and to treat herself that day.
Such a message couldn't have come at a better time for me (sometimes I think there is some higher power leading me into yoga class on the days I really need to be there). I am in the midst of whole bunch of big life changes. Our family is changing, with a new little member due in September (see the new baby bump picture below). I am moving to a new town, a new state, and starting over from scratch in a new graduate program. I'm moving away from my family, very dear friends, and a boyfriend that I love. I'll admit, I'm a little freaked out about it all, and definitely sad to move out of a part of my life that has been so good for me and that I have enjoyed so much. So, it's time to ask myself, "How would AWESOME Katie deal with this?" (I already know how un-awesome Katie would handle it. Think: messy pile of weepy tears.)
I'm pretty sure that AWESOME Katie (I don't normally talk about myself in third person) will feel sad, but will not let the sadness overcome her last two weeks with friends and family or taint her first few weeks in a new town, causing her to pass up opportunities to meet new people and make new friends. AWESOME Katie will think about the exciting possibilities that come with these changes: a nephew to squeeze and spoil (probably mostly only with love since I will still be a broke graduate student), a new apartment all to myself to decorate however I want and to be completely myself in, a new town with a great vibe, a new school that is taking me one step closer to a career that I am passionate about, chances to make new friends (a girl can never have too many, right?), and, I believe, an opportunity to open all of my current relationships up to brand new possibilities. AWESOME Katie will march into class on my first day feeling excited and thrilled to be there. AWESOME Katie will not worry about how she looks or what people will think of her, but will assume that everyone will immediately want to be her friend. Why, you ask? Because she's AWESOME.
So, today, I choose to be AWESOME Katie. I choose to own my awesomeness and feel great about today and who I am in it. And I'm going to clean my room.
When you think about embracing your own awesomeness, what do you think of? How would you feel? How would you act? Would it change the way you approached a certain situation or the way you walked into a room?
Oh! Here's Maggie's latest picture! She's 7 1/2 months along.
And one more thing... There's this blog, "Operation Beautiful" , that focuses on celebrating inner beauty and believing you're beautiful just as you are. It's awesome. The blog's author, Caitlin, is also releasing her first book, which I'll be picking up just as soon as my first paycheck comes through. She is also encouraging other bloggers to write about changing the way you see yourself, so I thought my theme fit in pretty well with that. Enjoy!