The Number ...

Do you know my LEAST favorite part of going to the doctor's office? That part where you have to step on the scale and see how much you REALLY weigh.

Contrary to the kind words, "no you're NOT!"s and "pshhh"s I have been getting from family and friends when I say I think I'm gaining weight, I have felt for a while now that I am. I've noticed that I have less energy, my pants fit a little tighter, I don't look in the mirror quite as often, etc. etc. My venture onto the scale at this morning's doctor's appointment (just a check up -- nothing's wrong) confirmed it. Those 3 little numbers were arranged into one big one that I did NOT like.

Momentarily, I considered rationalizing that number away ("Well... I just ate a big breakfast" "I normally weigh myself first thing in the morning" "These jeans alone weigh like TWO POUNDS!"), but then thought better of it. You might think that I've had plenty of opportunities over the last (almost) year, as the weight has been creeping on, to see I need to put a stop to this. I have, it's just that those opportunities have been met with half-efforts to do something about it. I will say, to my credit, that I have made huge leaps and bounds when it comes to things like conscious eating, awareness of my hunger, and putting the fork down before the entire meal is consumed. I just haven't made the effort to translate those important lessons into weight loss. NO MORE!!! Today, I declare mutiny on the habits that have been leading to this weight gain (or at least keeping it from going away).

I have always been an active person (I played volleyball in college, have always worked out regularly, and you may recall that I just ran a half marathon), and while my activity level has fallen off a bit (grad school will do that to a person), my real problem is what I eat. I eat TOO MUCH! I don't believe in all or nothing, starve yourself, eat only salads, feel guilty for eating dessert diets. I have tried those before. They work for a while, then the weight comes back -- unacceptable this time. I want to get to a real, manageable weight that I can maintain and I want to do that by learning how much food my body REALLY needs -- not just how much I think I should eat for fear of getting hungry later, or how much I want to eat because it tastes good (or because it's comforting). That is the goal.

**I do want to be clear about something: I don't think I'm "fat." I just don't feel very healthy, and I also don't think I look as healthy as I think I could/should. Also, the extra poundage is really hard on my knees when I'm running.

Sooooo.... Without further ado, here's what's going to happen:

I WILL NOT

• obsess about this
• use it as a reason to feel badly about myself
• start reciting to everyone how many calories are in every food I and they eat
• stop eating things I like or have any "restricted" or "forbidden" foods
• be unhealthy about this -- the whole point of this IS health (mental and physical)

I WILL

• only eat one sweet thing each day (I eat WAY too many sweets and those add up quick!)
• be accountable for every food or drink that I consume
• make exercise more of a priority -- especially strength training because that helps keep injuries away
• look for little ways to get extra exercise, like taking the stairs up to my 8th floor office
• choose healthy foods, like fruits and vegetables, more often than I don't
• eat smaller, but reasonable, portions
• look for little ways to take calories out of my diet, like not buttering my bread, not using as much salad dressing, etc.
• stop eating when I'm SATISFIED (a lot of times, I stop when I'm FULL, then end up feeling stuffed later)

I think at some point I stopped believing little things could actually make a difference and therefore, stopped trying to do the little things. Now, I choose to believe that they will make a BIG difference and will practice them at every opportunity!

Question: Is there something that you have struggled with in your life and are either trying to change or have successfully changed? How did you do it???