The Blues

Good morning!

I had planned to give a recap of my race in my next blog post, but I'm not really feeling it today and have decided to wait for that until I'm all pumped and peppy about it again.

Today (and for the last couple of days)... I have the BLUES. We'll call them the "post race blues." It's pretty normal to feel a little down after something big has ended, you know? Like, if you've been looking forward to your best friend's wedding for months and months, and the wedding is tons of fun, but once it's over, you just feel kind of a let down. Or when you work your butt off for years toward graduation and you're THRILLED to be graduating, but once you do you think, "Now what?" Well, after 4 months of running in the snow, on the ice, early in the morning, in the evening humidity preparing for ONE THING - a 2:18 half marathon - it's over. And I'm feeling a little down about it.

I'm totally ecstatic about the time I was able to achieve (remember? 2:15:29!!!) and I don't think that will go away for a very long time. But, let's face it. The race is over, my last semester (minus the crazy amount of thesis work I have to do this summer) at Nebraska is winding down, and in just a few short months, I'm going to have to pack up the life I've built for myself here in Lincoln and move it to a new state. And I really like my life here. A lot. Lincoln is my home and I love it. There are bike trails, beautiful seasons (we'll leave last winter out of this), a few great restaurants, friends, boyfriend, and family. There is something so comforting about knowing a place the way we all know the place we've lived in the longest. I love being able to drive down a street and recall memories from several years ago. I love that I still live in the same zip code as the park I played in and home I lived in when I was a child (some might argue that I still am a child...). I'm going to miss all of those things. And it's a little sad to realize that once I move away this time, it may be quite a while before I'm back again.

Plus, I'm not so good with change. While my little sister was rearranging her bedroom every other week when we were younger, I might put a new poster up, but everything else stayed just as it was - just as it was supposed to be. And I'm realizing that as I get older and grow into more of an adult, I'm dealing with the small changes better and better, but the big ones (like moving to a new town, starting at a new school) are becoming harder. I'm becoming more settled and content to be so.

But the really sad thing, I think, and that I have realized with the finale of this race, is that these last few months were my last time to train for a race with my running group - The Peeps. They are the most wonderful group of people I have ever known and it has been nothing but a true pleasure to endure even the hardest of runs with them. We laugh together, cry together, hurt together, help each other through rough spots (personal and physical), support each other when no one else does, and have probably shared more with one another during our hundreds of miles than we've shared with a lot of other people in our lives. They are the reason I've rolled my grumpy, tired butt out of bed before 6 a.m. on many occasions - and they always make it worth my while. A very special bond is formed when you spend mile after mile with someone. I am so lucky to have found this in them and I'm going to miss it when I'm gone.

Enough wallowing, though. I have a plan and I have a good cup of coffee. Nothing can stop August from coming, but there are a few things I can do to enjoy May, June, and July more and some things I can do to get EXCITED about August, rather than depressed. For starters, once I finish up with the rest of this semester's school stuff this week, I'm going to take a couple of days completely OFF. I'm going to get a hair cut. I'm going to bake some cookies. I'm going to go for a run with my Peeps, and then to the Farmer's Market. I'm going to celebrate Mother's Day with my mom. Then I'm going to get down to work finishing this thesis. I'm also going to make a summer running plan for myself. One of my long-term goals is to continue to get faster, so this summer, I'm going to commit to making that happen. I also might give swimming a try? I don't know - I really hate the chlorine-y feeling after getting out of the pool. Plus, I'd rather be outside. We'll see. And I plan to make a couple of trips down to Columbia to find a place to live and get a little better-accustomed to the place so it doesn't feel like such a shock when I move.

For now, I have a crap ton of grading to do and a few loose ends to tie up for my statistics class. Oh, and a hair cut to schedule.

(By the way, I wish I had a picture with all of the Peeps in it, but I don't. This is just the most recent Peep picture.)